And Yet...

Are you afraid to step into something God has called you to do? Have you questioned whether this fear is a signal to you that you shouldn’t move forward with it?

This morning as I studied Judges 6, I read the story of Gideon being called to tear down the altars of Baal. I’ve read this story several times, yet today I noticed something that had not caught my attention in the past. For me, the beauty of reading the Bible is partly in how God speaks so personally to me through it. It is truly a living, breathing WORD from Him as I dig in.

Gideon was obedient to what He heard the Lord asking of him, “but because he was afraid of his family and the townspeople, he did it at night rather than in the daytime” (Judges 6:27). How many times have we allowed our fear of what people think of us to alter our behavior? Even if it didn’t change our obedience to God, it may have changed the method by which we went about that obedience.

As I reflected on this, I wondered whether Gideon robbed himself of an opportunity to feel the power of his own obedience to God. Going to the altars at night to tear them down meant he couldn’t fully see the results of that work. Some of this was left in the shadows. The shadows of what people thought of him, how they might view him, and what they would think of him.

I believe we have all been in that place. The place of desiring to be authentic to what we feel God has put on our hearts (or for non-believers, what you feel has been authentic to you). 

And yet. And yet, we have allowed our fear to keep us from completely realizing the empowerment that comes with that authenticity. There have been times in my own life when I have held back. When my thoughts about what others might think have kept me from doing something that felt true to me. I am so thankful to serve a God who has known this about me and who continually guides me into a better way of living – one in which I can honor Him instead of the thoughts, opinions, and beliefs of those around me.

What strikes me as so beautiful is that, once again, we can see God’s unconditional love at work here. In the case of Gideon, He knows that Gideon is fearful. He understands that Gideon feels weak. Earlier in Judges, we saw Gideon threshing wheat in the winepress, which is not where he was supposed to be threshing. Gideon chose this more secrete location because of his fear of the Midianites.

And yet. And yet, God continued to use Gideon, continued to answer his prayers, and even continued to the point that the Bible says "And what more shall I say? For time will fail me if I tell of Gideon..."(Hebrews 11:32). Gideon would become someone whose story would continue to resonate, from generation to generation. The way God used him would astound and awe us.

And yet. Yet, Gideon did it with fear. He did it with doubt. He did it, knowing that he could never do all he was meant to do in his own strength. And he did it, I believe, understanding the true nature of the God he served. A God who was willing to provide for him and to use him. A God who didn't say "when" you are without fear, I will love you and show you my love and provision. But a God who said: walk with me. Do the best you can. Do it with fear if you have to. And see how I will come through it with you. Not because of your lack of fear, but in spite of it.    

We are all afraid. Maybe it is people's acceptance or approval we are afraid of losing or not obtaining. Maybe it is fear of the unknown. Maybe it is fear of what cannot be seen or understood.

And yet. Yet, the challenge to us may be to tear down our own altars. And to 'alter' that which has previously kept us bound and afraid.