Slowed But Not Stopped

It was 20 years ago. Almost to the day. I walked into my advisor’s office at the Psychology department at the University of Richmond to discuss my future plans for stepping into a career of counseling. In not so many words, he proceeded to tell me I shouldn’t bother applying to a Master’s program in counseling. I wasn’t cut out for it. I remember the devastation and confusion I felt when I heard those words. I had gotten good grades — only A’s and B’s in all of my courses. I had worked hard and gave everything I did my best effort. Yet here was this professor who was my advisor and who was telling me that I wasn’t good enough to do the very thing that I had gone to school for in the first place. It wasn’t the first time that I would let someone else’s opinion of me or what I should do determine my actions. I wish I could say that it was the last, but it wasn’t that, either.

Because I truly believed what he told me that day, I went home and cried. I licked my wounds and decided to regroup and think about what else I might be cut out to do and what interested me. I had always been intrigued by the interaction of physiology and nutrition and decided that I would continue with school and get my Master’s in nutrition instead of psychology. I would spend the next 20 years of my life studying and working in the field of dietetics. I loved what I did, but it always felt like something was missing. That somehow I had missed my true calling. I would spend hours of my time delving into emotional issues with those around me. People would come to me for advice, to lend a listening ear, and to gain insight into a problem they were facing.

This happened time and time again. I would sacrifice my own time to counsel people because it was what I absolutely loved doing. I didn’t get paid a dime and I didn’t need the money to continue doing what I felt was in my blood to do. So year after year, I did the very thing I felt called to do. Without a degree. Without a certificate on my wall. Without a dime of payment to show for it. I did it because every time I saw the lightbulb go off when I would walk someone through a problem they were facing, I felt I was making a difference. I did it because I have always wanted to leave this world a little better than I found it, and that includes anyone who comes into contact with me.

Fast forward to this 20th year. Through a series of events that could only be orchestrated by God, I am now enrolled in a program to get my second Master’s degree to become a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) at Liberty University. It is a dream come true to come full circle in this way. I look back and I have to thank God for this journey. It is amazing to me how much He loves me and how He brought me through all the things I needed to go through in order to be in a place where I could do the very thing I was called to do. In hindsight, I realize that if I had become a counselor when “I” wanted to, I would have been so much less effective than I know I can be now. I needed the life experiences I have had. And I wouldn’t take them back for anything, because I recognize that each and every one of them set me up to be  exactly where I need to be. 

The lesson I learned was this: it’s ok to let someone delay you, but don’t ever let them stop you. Delays are OK. They can show you that there might be more growth that is needed. They can tell you to slow down and not get ahead of yourself. But don’t stay in a place of succumbing to the voice that says “you can’t”. Pack your bags and keep walking. Until the day (maybe 20 years later) when you find yourself unpacking everything you had in your bags because finally, you’re home…